Skip to main content

Things are moving along...

So, I found out today that the BIP (Best Interest Placement) is scheduled for Wednesday. That means on Wednesday, a group of social workers and attorneys will gather in a room and decide whether I am the right mom for the boys. Everyone is telling me that it is just a formality but that does little to remove my anxiety. They will likely review my homestudy and talk about whether or not I am able to meet all of their needs as a single parent. They will probably talk about whether a White (I prefer Irish/Scottish) single woman is able to provide for the cultural needs of two Liberian/Mexican boys. I have taken part in dozens of these meetings but I have never been the subject of one and I have to admit it is terrifying. All the whatifs are driving me crazy. I feel like I should be able to at least write a letter or have some sort of participation but I will try my best to be patient. I'd like to tell them that tonight as I was tucking M into bed he decided he wanted to play a new game...the rules are that I would tell him 1 thing I love about him and then he would tell me 1 thing he loves about me...for the record...I love when he shares his toys, his beautiful brown eyes and when he feeds the dogs without my asking. He loves my eyelashes, my face and when I pick him up from school.

Comments

Annette Cecilie said…
Your words brought tears to my eyes. I understand how deeply those words of love and connection effected you. I'm so glad the boys have you and you have the boys. The wait is almost unbearable, and living in a fishbowl stinks, but all will be well in the end.

Popular posts from this blog

Update

Thank you to everyone who has been so incredibly supportive of my newest adventure-Foster Care! The piles of paperwork are done, the fingerprints are submitted, the doctor signed my clearance and my electrical outlets are covered. My home visit was today and now the worker just has to write up the report. He said that I should be licensed within the next couple weeks. Please keep praying and know that I am so incredibly thankful for your friendship and support (All 13 reference letters brought tears to my eyes!). Yesterday, I was second guessing/ overthinking /being pessimistic and out of the blue a waitress started telling me about how she had been in foster care between the ages of 2-4 and now at the age of 24, she wants to find her foster mom and thank her for the huge impact she had on her life. She didn't know me, she didn't know my thoughts...but God did. Also...strangely enough...my fortune cookie today said "Children will play an important role in your life"....

Happy Father's Day

When I was a child, I idolized my dad. Honestly, not much has changed. He has always been prone to "flights of fancy" that I completely took for granted when I was little. For example, my brother and I were routinely treated to a "candy tree" where we were convinced that fairies or leprechans hid candy for us once a week. He loves holidays and always made sure that he went above and beyond to make them memorable. I can't even put into words how much I appreciate the memories I have because of the efforts both my parents put into things. Just the silly "imaginary holidays" like Flounder Roundup and traditions like river rafting, Spaghetti Factory and crazy Halloween endeavors help me to feel grounded and part of something that stands the test of time. I want that for my kids and I adore seeing them spend time with both my parents. I can see those traditions being handed down and it fills me with more joy than I ever thought possible. We'll be...

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a big day for a few reasons. One year ago today, I got a phone call from CYFD asking if I could possibly take 2 little boys for 8 days of respite with a possibility of a longterm placement. The baby I had for 3 months had moved in with his adoptive family that morning and I was all set for a couple days of quiet, sleep and probably more than a bit of teariness. After securing promises of babysitting and lots of encouragement from friends, I agreed. I was terrified. I was excited. I was in completely over my head. I was gonna be outnumbered in my own house! That night, I was scheduled to attend a training on the Nurtured Heart Approach which ended up being extremely serendipitous. That approach combined with Love and Logic have become the foundation of my parenting choices. The next morning, I went to the grocery store to shop for "kid food" with suggestions from friends written down in my purse. I bought Spiderman comforters, a couple toys and new pajam...