Surviving and Thriving in Bethabara Farms

Started out by realizing that I forgot to do a little project with the boys. Apparently a family in J's class is adopting a little girl from China and the school is trying to gather 100 wishes for the little girl and her new family. I asked the boys what they would want to tell a little girl who was moving into a new family just like they did a year ago. M thought for a minute and said, "I would tell her it's okay to be sad and cry at first but everything will be okay because your family really loves you". If I wasn't already a huge mush ball today, that did it. My sweet boy soooo gets it. I picked the boys up from school early so that we could be home in time for the social worker to come over to sign the paperwork. As I walked in, J saw me and started running up and down the hallway telling every teacher that it was time for us to "go sign our family papers". At every stop he got a thrilled smile. Love their school! As we signed the Adoptive Pl...

Tomorrow is a big day for a few reasons. One year ago today, I got a phone call from CYFD asking if I could possibly take 2 little boys for 8 days of respite with a possibility of a longterm placement. The baby I had for 3 months had moved in with his adoptive family that morning and I was all set for a couple days of quiet, sleep and probably more than a bit of teariness. After securing promises of babysitting and lots of encouragement from friends, I agreed. I was terrified. I was excited. I was in completely over my head. I was gonna be outnumbered in my own house! That night, I was scheduled to attend a training on the Nurtured Heart Approach which ended up being extremely serendipitous. That approach combined with Love and Logic have become the foundation of my parenting choices. The next morning, I went to the grocery store to shop for "kid food" with suggestions from friends written down in my purse. I bought Spiderman comforters, a couple toys and new pajam...

So, I found out today that the BIP (Best Interest Placement) is scheduled for Wednesday. That means on Wednesday, a group of social workers and attorneys will gather in a room and decide whether I am the right mom for the boys. Everyone is telling me that it is just a formality but that does little to remove my anxiety. They will likely review my homestudy and talk about whether or not I am able to meet all of their needs as a single parent. They will probably talk about whether a White (I prefer Irish/Scottish) single woman is able to provide for the cultural needs of two Liberian/Mexican boys. I have taken part in dozens of these meetings but I have never been the subject of one and I have to admit it is terrifying. All the whatifs are driving me crazy. I feel like I should be able to at least write a letter or have some sort of participation but I will try my best to be patient. I'd like to tell them that tonight as I was tucking M into bed he decided he wanted to play a...

I picked up my kids, drove them home listening to the latest preschool gossip, made dinner and was thrilled (for once) with wonderful table manners and lots of polite table talk. We all changed into comfortable jammies and snuggled up in the oversized recliner to watch an old episode of Popeye. They were thrilled that he ate spinach because they had just had that for dinner and cleaned their plates. "We are strong like Popeye too cause we ate our veggies!" After the show we read "Happy Birthday, Martin Luther King" and halfway through the book, the phone rang. It was their dad, "Papa". I watched while J spoke to him and giggled when he called him "mijo". For some reason,they think that term is beyond hysterical. M didn't get a chance to chat this time because J got a lil button happy and hung up before he could talk. After the phone call, we finished up the book and brushed teeth. J snuggled into my bed and M into his (if I put them...

I'm sitting here in front of the fire feeling so blessed that I highly doubt I could even put it into words. One year ago today a tiny, pale, frail baby boy moved in with me. (See last year for more info on that) I loved that little baby so much and enjoyed every midnight feeding and diaper change but I alwayss felt like I wasn't supposed to be his "forever" mom. I was meant to love him, care for him and protect him. I loved every minute of the four months he was with me. Last Saturday, he was legally adopted by a wonderful woman who knew from the very first moment she saw him that he was HER baby. Her family has welcomed him with open arms and they have all been so gracious about keeping me informed about how well he is doing. The boys and I were able to be at the court house the day of his adoption and it was wonderful to see such a happy family. My boys have brought more joy to my life than I ever knew existed. I'm tired, I'm busy but I am also con...

In the last seven months, I have been blessed without measure. I have gone from foster parent to mommy. We've weathered colds, skinned knees, bruised feelings and trashed bedrooms. I've learned that it is financially much more feasible to buy plain old bandaids than the cool Handy Manny ones. The dogs have gone from running for their lives to sleeping next to the boys' beds at night. I've become adept at getting two rambuctious boys into bed and cozy by bedtime and I've figured out the trick about naptime. We've manuevered the preschool enrollment process and experimented with Bento Box lunches. I feel like I've learned so much over the last few months and somehow with every passing day another question pops up. My family and friends have been absolutely incredible and have embraced our new little family with stronger arms and more kindness than I ever imagined. My parents have jumped wholeheartedly into the world of grandparenting and the boys can...

I wrote this for my Dad a couple years ago, but today seemed like a perfect day to post it and remind him just how special he is... Top 10 things I learned from my Dad.... 1. Giving is always better than getting. My whole life, I remember hearing the joy in your voice and seeing the sparkle in your eye whenever you thought of a great gift idea for someone. Spending time shopping with you and watching the generosity you display toward needy people has always inspired me to want to give to others the way that you do. 2. If it’s Irish, It’s Good! I appreciate being taught about my Irish heritage. So many people just see themselves as “caucasian” but you always taught me that I have a rich Irish lineage with a great deal of culture and history. Even if the food does taste blah! 3. The Louder the Music the Better! I have so many memories of riding in the car with Carmen blasting on the radio and you clapping, singing and banging on the steering wheel. You enjoy music so much that it enc...