Surviving and Thriving in Bethabara Farms

It's been awhile since I've had a chance to sit down and blog. Obviously. Anyway, the boys have now been here 2 1/2 months. They have settled in and so have I. I am tired but rejuvenated . I am extraordinarily busy but calmer than I have felt in years. I have been able to realize through these wonderful boys that each day is one I need to treasure. It may be just an average day but it is one that I will never have again. These kiddos will never be 2 and 3 on May 6 th again and I will never by 35 on this day again (Thank you Charlie Appelstein ). For the last several years, I've felt stuck. Nothing ever changed. Same job, same house and pets, same great friends and family. Things were good but lacking in something I could never put my finger on. With the addition of these wild children, my life has gained passion. I am loving rolling down hills at the park, flying kites, searching the sky for colorful hot air balloons, singing songs and having tickle fights. The boys hav...

If someone would have told me a month ago that I would be parenting two toddlers, I would have told them they were nuts-completely certifiable... And yet, here I am. Waking up to the sweet patter of little feet and sleepy voices asking if it is time to watch Thomas (the Tank Engine) and coming home from work to hugs and squeals and water fights in my backyard. It is amazing to me to see how well things are really shaping up. I don’t know how long these boys will be here but I am enjoying every single minute of it. Foster care has been so amazing. I think this is what I was born to do. There is no better feeling than to know that I am providing a safe, warm, comfortable, fun place to be for a little one (or two) who has been scared and hurt. One of the things I’ ve become passionate about is getting the boys outside. Helping them learn to watch things grow and start to wonder about the beautiful things they see. It brings such a smile to my face when we are in the car and t...

I read this statement today. I think this is where joy starts. "Christians today like to play it safe. We want to put ourselves in situations where we are safe 'even if there is no God.' But if we truly desire to please God, we cannot live that way. We have to do things that cost us during our life on Earth but will be more than worth it in eternity.""

So, two new little guys moved in with me today. They are two and three year olds who have been removed from their parents due to their inability to keep them safe. I got a call about them yesterday afternoon so I spent the early morning doing some kiddo grocery shopping. I don't believe coincidentally, I had already planned to take today off. Luckily, I found some spiderman comforters on sale and a couple matching trucks (anything to avoid the "I want that struggles :) )They pulled up in a white van about 10am and I peeked out the front window as they walked up to the house. I could see their tense little expressions but the older one reached out and took the younger boy's hand as they came toward the door. As I looked at their faces, I was struck by the resemblence to a girl I knew many years ago. After a few phone calls, it turns out that I knew their biological mom when she was a teenager. We actually spent quite a bit of time together and she was one of my favorite...

I knew this would be difficult and people keep asking me if I really want him to go to the new family. I don't. I wish things were different. But they aren't. And that is okay. It isn't easy but it is okay. In my heart, I know this is right. I often tell my clients, "just because something is hard, doesn't mean it's the wrong decision". I believe that sometimes the best choices are the most difficult. I recently read something by Corrie Ten Boom, a survivor of the Holocaust . Ten Boom said that when she was a child she asked her father how she would ever do what God had for her to do. Her father's response was, “When you go to travel, when do I give you the train tickets or the money for it, three weeks before?” She said “No daddy, the day that I go to travel.” And her father said “That is what God does. You don’t need to be...have the power to be... But the moment that you have to the Lord will give you everything.” I am smiling through my tears becau...

The little one is so incredible. He is now rolling over, giggling at my horrible singing voice and has the cutest cheeks you've ever seen. His social worker said today that they have located a family for him. She didn't tell me anything else but said she'd call me in the morning to fill me in. Surprisingly, I didn't immediately have a pit in my stomach or a pang of jealousy. A low grade sadness that what we've shared in the last two months is coming to an end. But what I do feel is a joy that is unspeakable that the tiny, scared, bony baby that I brought home 2 months ago will soon be joining a family as a healthy, chubby, laughing little boy. I know I will probably be a mess when the day finally comes but I am so very glad I have the opportunity. A very wise foster/adoptive mom once said that at times like this, she likes to think of the quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, In Memoriam: 27, 1850: I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow ...

2008 wasn't a bad year---not the best but definately not the worst. I am filled with gratitude, peace and hope as I look forward to the coming year. It's amazing to me that no matter what happens, good or bad, when paired with time, God's hand is so evident in everything. I don't beleive that God plans or causes bad things to happen to us but I have been blessed to witness His amazing ability to mold the outcome into blessings. Because of that, I can exhuberently look for His miracles this year. My resolutions are to exercise more, spend more time in God's word and try to be more organized. If I'm not mistaken, they are pretty similar to last year's. Oh well... I'm a magnificent mess. I'm okay with that. I do want to really focus on simplifying my life. I don't mean making things easier necessarily, I mean figuring out priorities and doing what is really important. I'm hoping to be more able to let go of the things that either don't matte...