Surviving and Thriving in Bethabara Farms

Tomorrow is the legal anniversary of our family. In so many ways, I can't believe it's only been a year since the judge legally recognized our little family. The boys had been with me for a couple years before that day so we considered ourselves a family even before that but we are a "celebrating kinda family" (Mateo) and because of that we'll celebrate tomorrow in addition to celebrating February 26 (their move in date). Can you really have too many special days? This last year has seen a bunch of firsts, first lost tooth, first bike ride without training wheels, first day of Kindergarten and first day of First grade. I wouldn't trade any of them. We've learned some hard lessons this year and we've grown closer as a unit. We are blessed by the support we've recieved from some of our friends and our family. We've been lucky enough to see a few babies enter this beautiful, crazy world and look forward to at least one more in the very nea...

38 years ago today, I came into this crazy, wonderful world. I had a wonderful day with family and friends,enjoyed the sunshine and was treated to a fabulous ice cream cake! YUM. Today is also, effectively, the last day of summer for us. While the heat will linger for at least another month or two, my sweet boys will don their uniforms, put on their new Nikes and start the school year tomorrow. I can't believe Joaquin will be in Kindergarten. He's so excited and is really looking forward to making new friends and "playing with the 100 board". He's also feeling a bit nervous and asked me to cuddle with him as he fell asleep. I love to watch him sleep because his normally very active mouth is so adorable when he sleeps! It is hard to believe that it was almost three years ago that these precious children showed up on my doorstep. Honestly, it's gone so quickly that lately I have been really trying to embrace every amazing moment. On the eve of ...

When I was a child, I idolized my dad. Honestly, not much has changed. He has always been prone to "flights of fancy" that I completely took for granted when I was little. For example, my brother and I were routinely treated to a "candy tree" where we were convinced that fairies or leprechans hid candy for us once a week. He loves holidays and always made sure that he went above and beyond to make them memorable. I can't even put into words how much I appreciate the memories I have because of the efforts both my parents put into things. Just the silly "imaginary holidays" like Flounder Roundup and traditions like river rafting, Spaghetti Factory and crazy Halloween endeavors help me to feel grounded and part of something that stands the test of time. I want that for my kids and I adore seeing them spend time with both my parents. I can see those traditions being handed down and it fills me with more joy than I ever thought possible. We'll be...

Tomorrow will bring festivities to our little house. There is a little boy who has been counting down the days until this moment. I hope he remembers this day like I remember my childhood birthdays. I want him to feel cherished and celebrated tomorrow on the anniversary of his birth. Maybe someday reading this letter will make him smile, warm in the knowledge that he is loved and seen for all of who he is and all that he will be. Dear Mateo, It's been an amazing year. So many big events...your first day of Kindergarten in August, our Adoption finalization in September, visits from Nani and Owie, traveling to Seattle and California, learning to read and do math... so many more I'm sure. I've been so blessed to watch you try new things like African dancing, speaking and reading Spanish, basketball, soccer and hula hooping. You are such a kind friend and a thoughtful person. I love to watch you share with your brother and your friends and take care of your beloved dog...

When I was a child, I believed in leprechauns and candy trees. I saw the magic in rainbows and unexpected surprises. I want that same experience for my kids. They had a very different first couple of years but I want them to remember their childhood as a time of fun, spontanaity and creativity. Much of my experience is thanks to my Dad who I have frequently referred to as "Mr. Holiday". Even though our political leanings could not be more different, our similarities are overwhelming in almost any other way. I can't imagine a parent more attune to a child's imagination. I want to be that parent for my kids. I want to fill their lives with that sense of expectation and inspiration. It's a real testament to my Dad that the boys are beyond excited about St. Patrick's Day. They have a firm belief that "those tricky leprechauns" are out and about.... Joaquin watched an Irish dancing video and is now determined to become the next Michael Flatley. ...

Because of my job, I sometimes second guess the future. I work with adoptive families, some of whom are struggling. Most of these families are devoted, loving, highly functioning and yet they are trembling under the weight of the challenges their kids bring. Some of our families have tremendous difficulty connecting with their kids and everyone suffers because of the trauma and resulting behaviors. When I hear the stories of hurt, disappointment and tremendous pain, I wonder if that will someday be us... I wonder if we will struggle with mental illness, behavioral challenges, physical difficulties...I worry that my kids don't have a dad who lives in our home. I've never been a biological parent, so I don't know if these worries are unique to families formed through adoption but somehow I doubt it. Even when you share genetics with a child, the future is largely unknown. When I brought my boys into my home, I made a conscious decision to leave no stone unturned in bringing t...

In some ways, it seems dismissive to say Happy Birthday to someone that I know is still in a place of confusion and fear. I'm struggling today with how to honor the woman who gave my children life. All day, I've wanted to take a drive, try to find her, get her somewhere safe and make sure she's warm, fed and knows she's loved. Actually, I struggle with that most days, but today the urge is a bit stronger. I know I need to maintain some distance due to safety concerns but some days, most days, it is so hard. So, I distract myself by thinking of all the things I'd tell her if only I could. I'd share how funny and kind they can be. I'd explain how Mateo is learning to read and Joaquin is following quickly behind him. I'd laugh as I described how Joaquin makes a face that I've seen on her and that Mateo has her gift of gab. I'd let her know that Mateo has her determination and Joaquin has her flare for the dramatic. It would be important to ...